I got sick recently. For a long time since the birth of the twins, I have been waiting for ‘me’ to go back to normal. To not be angry all the time, to have time for myself, Nathan, my work and each of our 3 children. I kept putting it off and powering through each day, telling myself that when the kids get older I’ll have time to recover, I’ll have time to heal and regenerate lost brain cells from over 3 years of little to no sleep. But I got sick.
At first my Guides told me I was going through another shift, then everything went silent… I was in great agony with back pain and nausea for 4 days before we went to the hospital to check what was going on. Nothing serious and I was back home again with one thing that I was pulled to do – sleep.
My diet changed. I had to surrender and let go of wanting to always be with the kids and let Nathan take the reins while I slept and slept and slept. As I slowly came out of this state and began healing and gaining strength, my diet didn’t want to go back to what I was eating before, I didn’t enjoy pushing myself to be ‘doing’ all the things I thought needed to be done and I had changed. I only wanted sleep, naps, rest & ‘me’ time. Then I started to hear from my Guides again –
‘You have been unwell – True. We are repairing you on many levels. Not just physical – Your Soul is receiving an upgrade – This requires the sleep.’Catherine’s Guides
Before lockdown and before getting sick, I was in my own escapism of a simple morning once a week at the market in our neighboring town. During lockdown this escapism moved into getting online and connecting with & helping others instead. Taking the dogs and our daughter down to the creek every morning for a long walk and to meditate. When the heat of summer hit this also became very hard to keep up with and then I dropped my phone in the creek. Thankfully I had listened to the calling to upload everything onto my computer just two days before it happened!
I then became sick and too tired to walk anywhere, so that stopped too.
This time taught me that I was NOT meant to go back to my normal self. I needed to change, heal, rest and live life differently than before the heavy hard pregnancies having HG with Utopia and the twins 3 years before.
It isn’t until we have the sickness, the injury, the job loss, the lockdown, the partner leave us, that we are made to go within and dig deep into how we are truly feeling. What is lying dormant under the surface of our hearts, our minds, our Souls? We escape today with it’s speed of connection. Internet, phone, travel, cars, planes, every kind of food all year round and instant arrival of packages from anywhere in the world. All of this has given us a wonderful awareness and connection of the world, society and our own lives but to what extent do we ‘need’ it?
‘Being’ has been exchanged for ‘doing’, even when we are sitting still. We are on a speed train of getting to the end of each month, each week, each day, all to escape how we really feel now. This has become out of alignment with the callings of our higher selves now. The raising of consciousness across the planet and humanity. It fulfilled it’s purpose and now we are being called to stop, heal and change.
I am thankfully well again now, but different. Changes have been made, inner and outer and an ‘upgrade’ as my Guides call it, has taken place hehehe. Everything changed for me and all because I felt like it, I wanted different things & the ‘normal’ I had before just wasn’t fitting the new energy I had shifted into. Which is what we are all doing…
With lockdowns happening everywhere and our way of life brought to a halt, something many people are going through , across the world, is a desire for this to be ‘over’ and life to go back to ‘normal’. Going back to normal is not what this has happened for. It has happened so that we can all address, heal and change how we are truly feeling inside, what our lives have become and what we are doing to ourselves, each other and this planet.
Situations we are in don’t make us feel a certain way, they bring to the forefront the energies, beliefs and emotions that are lying dormant within us, right down to our Soul.
The emotions that arise are coming to the light for us to see them, heal them and UNDERSTAND them. Emotions are stored within the cells of our body and when there has been trauma, either this life or in past ones that has been triggered now, the healing is processed through the body with sickness, injury, pain and illness.
The anger and rage the world is feeling, are the callings of suppressed pain that is not yet ready to be faced and let go of. When the personality is ready to face the emotional pains that lay behind the anger and is ready to make change and healing, the push from within is inescapable and action is driven by the heart to create changes within and without.
Honestly I found it so hard to get through the anger and tiredness I was constantly in, every day for over a year after the twins were born. I had NO sleep for far too long. But my children were getting to understand anger from someone they trust, learning that it is ok to express their feelings and they will still be loved, to learn to breathe and surrender and go through pain in life.
Things happening across the planet today, are bringing us to a powerful place of inner and outer change. It is very hard when we are in it, I know this well but within this time of change is a seed of growth that once we see that purpose behind our pain, we can move forward with meaning, acceptance, peace, motivation and empowerment.
We are not a victim to our lives, we are the creator of them, right down to planning to live this life during this current time, that is changing the world we live in and raising the vibration of the entire human species.
You are part of that change and your pain – physical, emotional or mental, is the catalyst of growth and awakening that your Soul planned on undertaking before you were born into it.
If something keeps coming back to you, it has a very important effect that your Soul is experiencing through it. You haven’t done anything wrong and you most certainly aren’t being punished. You are making imprints on your Soul and that, dear one, is a very difficult thing you bravely agreed to before you chose this human life.
I finished another short film recently. This one is on the subject of pain in our life. From depression, fears, anxiety, sickness, injury, illnesses to unexplained deep hatred and anger towards issues happening or have happened in the world. We have for far too long been pushed down a positive thinking, be happy, prevent all pain hole, that avoids all the growth your soul came here to make. I hope this one helps you find a little understanding behind your own pains this lifetime.
So if you are finding Climate Change, Pandemics, lockdowns, Governments, Power Police, Inequality, Murder, Rape, Greed, Lies, Torture or any situation within this world or your very your own life, intolerable, unbearable and desire change, this video will show you how –
I hope this sheds light on anything you may be going through right now. You are a cherished Soul living today and your challenges and struggles are the healing energy that is healing humanity and changing this world. Native Americans have an understanding that ‘trauma from our ancestors is carried down to new generations but so is healing’. What effects one, effects all…
Always all my love and light to you,