I used to be very afraid of the aspect of Karma. I honestly feared the thought of being punished for the wrongs I had unwillingly done in my past. Telling a lie, hurting someone without knowing it or the dread of what I may have done in my past lives.
Sitting on the side of the mountain after climbing the Buddhist temple, I had slowly emerged out of another deep meditation when I realized leaves had been falling on my head. As I looked above me, there sat, ate and played a large group of black with white rimmed eyed, monkeys. Not at all concerned with me being there, they only began to move away slightly once I stood to leave and enter back into the mountain for the long stairway journey to the bottom.
During the year and a half before hand, I had been going into longer and longer periods of far away meditations lasting hours at a time, reaching beyond the body and beyond the mind. The wild monkeys in Malaysia were not afraid of me or disturbed by my presence because essentially ‘I’ was not there. My consciousness had merged with the mountain’s. Later the temple caretakers were very surprised to hear that the monkeys had come to me, saying that the black monkeys did not like humans and rarely showed themselves. After going to this temple daily for a month it was the first time I had ever seen them.
I had by this time, tuned into an unbelievably profound sense of peace, awareness of all that was going on in the world, clarity of what laid ahead, both in and out of a meditative state and an immense amount of love for everything. I often explain that during these years I had ‘left this world’ but eventually I needed to came back. My new life ahead awaited me and I was ready to face it’s new challenges but from a whole new perspective. It wasn’t always like this though….. Continue reading “A Journey of Healing and Awareness”→
Sometimes in life, we just need to breathe and let go…..
The need to hang onto the reins and to control things, is just another way of us trying to find security in what we are doing and what is happening in our lives. It’s when that sneaking inner anxiety and fear about the future is slowly making it’s presence known but you are not aware of it yet. The tension and stress that you may not even notice in you, slowly starts to come to life. You start to notice that you are controlling everything around you and that you are hanging on to the reins.
Unfortunately in riding and in life, if what we are doing is an action driven by fear, it only produces more fear in the horse. This is where no matter what we do, we keep sending signals of insecurity, control and tension and this keeps bringing back to the same response to us from the horse. Continue reading “Letting Go”→
I have been working for a while now as a Dressage rider and coach. I went from learning how to ride bareback, no bridle, no helmet and on my own as a young child, to working with animal behaviorist, Andrew Maclean, to living and working/riding under old school Classical Dressage trainers in Germany, to owning my own stables in Australia. I have since been head coach for stables in Japan, Malaysia, Singapore and recently in Jakarta, Indonesia.
Throughout all those years, working with all these different horses – young to Grand Prix, Show Jumping, hobby riders, to Western riders, beginners and professionals, different religions, cultures and even in different languages – there is one thing I came to realise;
How do we take control of fear and not let it take control of us?
Fear is not always that we are afraid of heights, dogs or snakes. With so many of us now taking on our own companies and businesses, it can be the fear of opening the post. Of reading an email from a complaining client. Not making the months bills or losing your clients. Sometimes the fear of being afraid can override the thing you actually are afraid of!
You cannot help a situation when you are living in fear of it.
‘Oh my dear western world, how my heart goes out to thee.
A world living in fear, spirits are drained, talents are corrupted, beauty is disfigured beyond recognition and love is looked down upon and mocked to have no purpose in life. Continue reading “Utopia”→
Just under 8 yrs ago, I sat and watched the shock and horror on the face of a truly gifted woman playing a huge part in my then business and Dressage Training stables, Equinoxe Equestrian, when she told me that I could NOT use the word Spiritual in the new brochures! She was afraid that we would lose all the clients from the equestrian world and sure enough, she was right ;-). I didn’t however lose the clients who were benefitting from me fully embracing the truth of who I am and what I believe my Soul came here in this life to be and do. Those clients are still friends today and have become great teachers and riders themselves.
Have you ever wondered why certain behaviors happen with your horse? Maybe a situation in your life is effecting you or repeating itself?
We have so much power in us, so much spirit yearning to express itself, live itself and create itself.
Why are we holding that back?
Why are we afraid to speak our truth?
Why do we live a life in the limitations of what we fear the world around us, wants from us? Why do we allow separation between each other? Whether is be culture, race, work hierarchies or celebrity status.
In 2010 I closed up my entire life’s work, my dreams, achievements and abilities in a defeated pile. I sat down with leftover pieces of guilt, shame, exhaustion and lots of stress and fear. I decided I was no longer going to pursue a success that was defined by the world around me and was going to remember who I really was, why I was here and what my life and existence had planned this time around.
I sat down and tried to remember why I started doing what I was doing in my life in the first place?
Life is like riding, you will only have harmony once you stop fighting it.
Mainly during my first years of riding as a young teenager but also during various places and stages in the past, I attracted often the ‘bolter’ horse that is sensitive, very electric and always running away. This was a strong connection of who I was at the time. It was a reflection of issues that I was learning from and working through in how I dealt with my own life – flee, run, don’t reflect on things just quickly get to the next place. I was afraid of confrontation, scared and with a belief that I was somehow wrong no matter how much I had come to learn from experience and others.