Why we are All NOT meant to be going back to ‘Normal’

Me, Utopia Rose, Twins – Bluebell & Galorian

I got sick recently. For a long time since the birth of the twins, I have been waiting for ‘me’ to go back to normal. To not be angry all the time, to have time for myself, Nathan, my work and each of our 3 children. I kept putting it off and powering through each day, telling myself that when the kids get older I’ll have time to recover, I’ll have time to heal and regenerate lost brain cells from over 3 years of little to no sleep. But I got sick.

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A Journey of Healing and Awareness

Ipoh, Malaysia

Sitting on the side of the mountain after climbing the Buddhist temple, I had slowly emerged out of another deep meditation when I realized leaves had been falling on my head. As I looked above me, there sat, ate and played a large group of black with white rimmed eyed, monkeys. Not at all concerned with me being there, they only began to move away slightly once I stood to leave and enter back into the mountain for the long stairway journey to the bottom.
During the year and a half before hand, I had been going into longer and longer periods of far away meditations lasting hours at a time, reaching beyond the body and beyond the mind. The wild monkeys in Malaysia were not afraid of me or disturbed by my presence because essentially ‘I’ was not there. My consciousness had merged with the mountain’s. Later the temple caretakers were very surprised to hear that the monkeys had come to me, saying that the black monkeys did not like humans and rarely showed themselves. After going to this temple daily for a month it was the first time I had ever seen them.
I had by this time, tuned into an unbelievably profound sense of peace, awareness of all that was going on in the world, clarity of what laid ahead, both in and out of a meditative state and an immense amount of love for everything. I often explain that during these years I had ‘left this world’ but eventually I needed to came back. My new life ahead awaited me and I was ready to face it’s new challenges but from a whole new perspective. It wasn’t always like this though…..
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